... C^ocLtailf to Port THE playwright, dining with the producer, was describing en thusiastically an idea for a play. He talked and talked. The producer went on eating his soup and finally, glancing at the playwright's untouched plate, said: You'd better eat your soup before your conversation gets cold. First Recruit 'Ere, Alf, I've lorst a lice Second Recruit Well, wot yer grutnblin' for Y'orta ...

... Stories from Everywhere PETERBOROUGH in the Daily Telegraph tells this story: A special constable was on duty in the City. Soon after the sirens went he noticed an incendiary bomb on the Bank of England. He rang the bell. A perfectly attired flunkey opened the door. The constable said Do you know that there is an incendiary on your roof I thank you, sir, replied the flunkey. Then, turning ...

... BY JOHN KENT IF Puppy Karfax had been just a little older, or even a little younger, he might have been able to laugh at himself and forget Janine in the interests of soldiering. But by so doing he wouldn't have found salvation, and although in some circumstances laughter may be better than salvation, in India, where both are at a premium, salvation is perhaps the more essential. There was ...

... Stories From Everywhere ANY complaints? asked the orderly officer, entering the mess room. Yessir, replied Private Biggs. They've all got bigger dinners than me! Well, said the orderly officer, smiling, they're all bigger lads than you, aren't they? Yessir, Biggs agreed, an' alius will be at this rate. The lady of the house had seen a tough looking follower coming to the back door and ...

... Stories from Everywhere THE pretty girl in the knife-throwing act on the fair ground was ill, and her mother, rotund and blowsy, was taking her place. The noises off-stage grew to a thunderous roar as the knife-thrower took aim and threw the blade. Then all was still. Blimey! exclaimed an incredulous voice, he's gone and missed her! A tradesman sent a well-known doctor a box of cigars, which ...

... IT PAYS TO PUBLICISE THE TAT EE R SHORT STORY By C. GORDON GLOVER J THE very day I heard that Clem Sandbach of Titan Pictures .wanted to make a record-breaking of-the-earth-earthy I got down to thinking. You have to think quick when you're up against it, and big, too, and every other kind of way if you don't want the slow-thinking high-ups to go on getting it all their own way. I was up ...

... Stories From Everywhere NOW, children, said the teacher, after a nature lesson, I have told you how the little baby birds learn to fly. Now I am going to play the piano to you and I want you all to imitate the birds' movements in time to the music. As the playing proceeded, all the children waved their arms energetically, with one excep tion. Come along, Billy, said the teacher, coaxingly ...

... a thirteen. aJwHS Ul^S By URSULA BLOOM. J&Cjr* ...

... By KAY DAVIES. I LEFT my things on the table, and as no one was attending to my wants, I strolled round to try and find a hat for myself, my own being rather passé. There were two assistants, but their attention was not for me. They were busy talking in a far corner, so, after trying to catch the eye of one or the other of them, I set off on my own peregrinations. The hats were quite dreadful. ...

... I^IP^r SOMEONE'S GoFTOn^'TrT]^ By GILBERT HACKFORTH-JONES. THE Captain S of the Nth Submarine Flotilla was accustomed to take his daily constitutional on the fore-part of the boat-deck of the depôt-ship Santiago, but to-day the weather made that impossible, and he was obliged to pace the narrow confines of his cabin. Outside the wind roared and the rain slanted with all its customary ...

... f^p^L__vTcKY's vision.- By HAROLD BALDWIN. SOME may claim a cultivated taste for music or literature, or any other art; but it is the art of eating which the Websters have studied and cherished-- at least, ever since they became our next- door neighbours seven years ago, and I have no doubt long before that. Before the war their larder was always loaded with the richest, most delicious ...

... . jjgag|M|pg| By L. LUARD. l NOTHING is impossible in war. At least, Darkie Tremayne thought so. I do reckon, he said, his dark eyes narrow ing, that afore w'm finished I'll catch summat worth a season's shimmer of fish. 'Twill be champion if you 'm aboard. I knew him well enough to respect his words, though others smiled discreetly. He was the best fisherman out of the port, a fine seaman ...