... Even Green can't lend his weight to this Rhino BY HARRY VENNING Doesn't Robson Green ever take a holiday? In Rhinoceros (1TV, Sunday, April 11, 9pm) the ubiquitous Geordie played an absentee father forced to confront his parental responsibilities when his autistic son Danny goes missing. With ex-wife Niamh Cusack ne speeos on ro me weisn village where the boy was last spotted, exchanging ...

... Ugly truths and unrevealed secrets By LISA ROHUMAA Concerns over Dolly the Sheep experiments were blown out of the water this week after shock revelations that a new cloning experiment has resulted in several Vanessa Feltzes. Just when she ^thought it could not get much worse after having most of her producers sacked and a streaker in the studio, Feltz suffered the indignity of discovering ...

... BY HARRY VENNING Not for the first time in these pages I freely declare my profound admiration and deep love of Carol Smillie, but if she keeps presenting dross like Star Secrets (BBC1, Monday, July 5, 7pm) I may have to re-evaluate my feelings. rrarmiy uaroi, I miriK your involvement reflects badly on the both of us. The idea behind the show is breathtakingly simple. A celebrity is introduced ...

... Novel lesson in how to play the marketing game BY TARA CONLAN One of my favourite courses at university was post-modernism. It was impossible to get a low grade since the course tutor's assertion that universal truths no longer existed so we could not define good or bad led him into terrible trouble whenever he tried to mark our essays. How do you tell a student of post-modernism that their ...

... This mob proves an early turkey One Yuletide tradition came to our homes a day early this year, in the shape of the big, fat, wonderfully ludicrous turkey, Black Velvet Band (ITV, Wednesday, December 24, 9pm) which saw an EastEnders alumnus fall mer- rilv into the same erave freshlv dug by Leslie Grantham, the braincell behind Anglia's disas trous alien thriller The Uninvited. Nick Berry ...

... Dark, psychological thriller By ANDREW ALDRIDGE Alan Clarke, the late English film maker who directed Scum and Rita, Sue and Bob Too. had a rallying call when he wanted to up the shock value of his work. Let's get the pig out of the bag was a signal to those with whom he was working that the anarchic director wanted to achieve some thing really gruesome, something which cut through the ...

... Reality behind the Bardot phenomenon BY HARRY VENNING Breathtakingly beautiful as a young woman and breathtakingly stupid as an old one, The Real Brigitte Bardot (C4, Saturday, October 24, 9pm) traced the life of the former actress from sex symbol, through animal rights campaigner, to loathsome old Fascist. Bardot claimed to be apolitical and dismissed the far right politics of her ...

... RATINGS WATCH FOR WEEK ENDING FEBRUARY 20 Have you ever noticed how television can't get by without repeating itself? Have you ever noticed how television can't get by without repeating itself? Now if this column were being written for TV, the paragraph above would be regarded as a triumph for commercial good sense: there's twice the words for half the thought, it fills up all that nasty white ...

... Walking among the rock'n'roll dinosaurs BY TARA CONLAN Nothing epitomises the casualties of bands of the sixties and seventies so much as the lyrics of Not Fade Away. Having found the limelight, there was never a chance that the Rolling Stones, The Who and their ilk would just fade away. Hence the current glut of documentaries celebrating the leg ends of rock'n'roll. However, the word roll ...

... Cast: Billie Whitelaw, Robert Urquhart, Jean Ander son, Edward Woodward. Director: David Greene. ABC Television. REPUTATION FOR A SONG by Edward Grierson. Screening date: June 21. Cast: Eileen Peel, Kenneth Mackin tosh Jane Wenham. Derek Francis. Director: Lionel Harris. Associated Television. THE MOMENT OF MILO by John OToole Screening date: June 24. Cast: Milo O'Shea, Joanna Dunham, Oliver ...

... A-R Takes Stock of methods and Policy by JOE GARWOOD Head of A-R's Ad Magazines BY the end of this month Associated-Rediffusion will have produced and transmitted over six hundred advertising magazines, so this may be a suitable occasion to take stock and have a look at our policy and methods. We believe that for the adver tiser with a small or medium- sized allocation, magazines offer an ...

... WHY SCOTTISH ADMAGS SELL by PETER COOKMAN Sales Director of Scottish Television FOR more than two years Scottish Television has been producing three regular 15-minute admags, in addition to specials such as O.B's and in occasional half-hour documentary type. They are Armchair Shopping day 6.45 p.m.) Between 3urselves (Thursday 6.45 ?.m.) and Friday Fare (Fri- Jay 10.35 p.m.). ...