... Stories From Everywhere THEY had been arguing as to whether men or women were more unscrupulous. To support his argument the husband said: I see by the paper tonight that out of every hundred persons fined for travelling without a ticket, seventy-five are women. There! replied his wife. That only shows that women are more economical than men. What does this expression Sez you mean? asked ...

... Stories from Everywhere THERE was a slight commotion on the bus. The woman passenger had tendered for her fare a coin which, after a scrutiny, the conductor declined, pronouncing it to be foreign. Instead of producing another coin and per mitting the man to get on with his job, the woman proceeded to rail against having been imposed upon elsewhere and, indeed, attempted to work off some of her ...

... Stories From Everywhere A BISHOP had three sons in the Services. Two were army chaplains, the third was a naval officer. All spent their first leave at home. The bishop was standing in front of the dining- room fire when the first chaplain son came down and took his place by his father's side. Did yon have a good night? asked the bishop. Yes, replied the son. I dreamt I was in heaven. It was ...

... gj^jP^r LANTERN TECTURE.' By W. P. TEMPLETON. CHARLIE SEMPLE'S first lecture, was a great success, and he looked forward confidently to passing from triumph to triumph at each of the other five rural institutes on his programme. There had been a great deal of applause when the lights went up, and the chairman had made an enthusiastic speech of thanks. I think I can say that Mr. Semple has ...

... C^ocLtaiU to Port MAID: The master's locked up, mum. MISTRESS: Good. We can all go to bed. Maid But it was the police that 'phoned, mum. Officer How long did it take you to learn to drive a motor car Private Oh, three or four. Officer Weeks Private No, sir motor cars Hotel Clerk Bed and break fast, sir Guest No, supper and shelter, please. Pilot Drinking and love- making are the ...

... By SIDNEY DENHAM. THE young house-surgeon kneeled beside the prone figure on the stretcher. They said there was no chance for him, the stretcher-bearer said. The young doctor nodded mechanically. Don't get many splinters with these damned things, the stretcher- bearer went on. but one of 'em caught him in the back. The doctor nodded again without interrupting his examination. Lungs ...

... PgjPl^Q_THE GOLD TOOTH.' By R. C. ALBAN. MR. JOHNSON put down the little mirror with which he had been looking into the patient's mouth, walked over to the wash-basin and mechanically washed his hands for the thirty- second time that day. As he dried them on the damp towel, he forced his face to look genial and told- his patient not to bite on the tooth for two hours. After the patient had ...

... Stories From Everywhere TWO little toddlers were unable to resist the temptation to explore the newly-built air raid shelter. Just as they disappeared inside a policeman came along. Who's inside there? he asked sternly. For a few moments there was a tense silence. Then, when he repeated the question, there came a reply in a shrill, nervous little voice: Hardly anybody, mister. rT1HE house had ...

... SLEEPING DRAUGHT By FRANK KING DOCTOR MICHAEL KENT was back at work again after six months in hospital. Six months, during five of which his life had hung on the slenderest of threads, while anxious colleagues fought a desperate battle against death. Michael Kent knew that it would have been better if they had lost that battle, if the thread had snapped. He was young yet-- only just forty. He ...

... By JOHN COLLIER DOCTOR, said Major Sinclair, most certainly we must have you with us for Christmas. He shall be back, said Mrs. Carpenter. I promise you. It 's by no means certain, said Dr. Carpenter. I should love it, of course. After all, said Mr. Hewitt, these lectures are only for three months. Anything may happen, said Dr. Carpenter. Yes. It is quite true, said Mrs. Bates. ...

... Stories From Everywhere ROBINSON had died and gone below. Hardly had he settled down when a hearty hand slapped him on the back, and into his ears boomed the familiar voice of a persistent traveller who had pestered him on earth. Well, Mr. Robinson, said the traveller, I'm here for that appointment. What appointment? I certainly don't remember making it. You don't mean to tell me you've ...

... It 1 1! It L E ARB SQUEAK Stories from Everywhere PUT out that light up there, shouted the warden. A head came cautiously out of an upstairs window. What do you want? came a voice. It's an air raid warning, the warden told her. Well, put it through the letter-box. I can't come down now. A man who wrote a weekly column for a newspaper had a brother-in-law who arrived for a weekend visit and ...