... B WBlZ 66 squeak A MAGICIAN seeking a booking had an interview with a theatrical manager. I Ve got a new trick that will slay them, he asserted. I saw a woman m W Call that a new trick replied the manager, scoffmgly. They 've been doing that around here for years. Oh, yeah countered the magician. Lengthwise M he wanted a new washing-machine, and after seeing several examples of this labour- ...

... mm 66 SQU£AK 7H£ visitor calling on the small boy's I mother was of uncertain age and rather unprepossessing appearance, and the child was doing his best to answer her questions politely. And how old are you she asked him. I'm six, was the reply. And how old are you Oh, she said, looking embarrassed, I don't remember the year I was born. Never rhind, answered the small boy politely, ...

... WMlI 66 squeak A FARMER, was making his nightly rounds, when he saw a furtive figure beside the barn, holding a lantern. Who are you the farmer yelled. It 's only me Jim, the intruder answered, with a giggle. ■Jc What are you doing here so late the farmer demanded. Er I 'm courting Sarah, said Jim. But why the lantern the farmer inquired. When I was courting my missus, I didn't take a ...

... ONE of the women guests on her arrival at a reception, instead of moving on insisted on talking to the host, saying how surprised she was that he remembered her. ...

... by Madge Reynolds WHEN OUR SON Alfred was 12, which was seven years ago, John bought him an old Austin car for £7, as a birthday present. You can learn to drive, John told him. It'll probably need a lot of repairs. I'll pay for any spare parts you want, but you must do all the work yourself. Your masters can't seem to teach you anything, said his father, grimly, thinking of Alfred's ...

... mMit 66 squeak Compiled by Jay Jay AFTER the cautious player had been in for nearly half an hour without scoring a run, the fielders were beginning to get annoyed. His gentle play at last grew so pronounced that they closed within a few feet of him, and waited eagerly for the catch. X The light was beginning to fail. It was essential that his wicket should X fall before the time came to draw ...

... MBit 66 squeak AT a small provincial theatre, the owner sought to draw a large audience with a huge bill of the play with the words at ■Jc the bottom, Cast of West End Players. Jc Unfortunately, however, there was a slight misprint, and to his horror he read Cast Off West End Players. After being involved in an accident, the patient was ordered by his doctor to remain in bed and take a ...

... VmBLl 66 Squ&AK Compiled by Jay Jay A MAN who had had a series of second-hand cars and had trouble of one sort and another with most of them, was talking to a friend. I can't understand it, he said. You 've had second-hand cars just as I have, but you never seem to have any trouble with them. And after .JL. all, you know very little about cars certainly no more than I do. His friend smiled. ...

... mm. li squeak Compiled by Jay Jay THE managing editor of a newspaper noted for its lurid sensationalism was in despair. It 's awful, Bill, he groaned to the news editor. Nothing scandalous has happened for twenty-four hours. What on earth can we put on the t front page A Don't worry, Jim, said the news editor, consolingly. Something 'II happen all right. I 've still got faith in human nature ...

... WMil squeak AT the village concert, local talent was doing its best and its worst in some cases. Mac's turn came, and he gave a Jr bagpipe solo, and when the applause had Jg died down, a voice from the hall shouted Give us Annie Laurie, Mac I What! asked Mac, surprised and flattered. 'Again A recruit was pulled up by an officer for not saluting. What do you mean by walking past me puffing a ...

... wmli &6 squeak Compiled by Jay Jay QNCE upon a time a lady received an unusual present a young alligator, some 3 ft. long. Not knowing what else to do with the reptile, she put it in her bath. She went out shopping, and when she returned she found this note from her maid, who had come in during her absence I have left. I refuse to work in a house where there is an alligator in the bath. I ...

... BWB it 66 squeak R|0 W, this is kind of you, my dear, said the wealthy woman to the little daughter of her poor relations as she took the parcel containing a Christmas gift. I wonder whatever it can be I think it 's a fish, said the child, -fg A fish, dear? echoed the lady, in surprise. Yes, I 'm sure it 's a fish, the child assured her. Daddy said it was a sprat to catch a mackerel. ...