... mtBLt 66 squeak Compiled by Jay Jay THE green young lieutenant was assigned to a new company. He was a very small and helpless-looking individual, and when he first appeared before his men there were many audible comments made about his apparent ineptness. From the rear of the ranks a voice said: And a little X child shall lead them. There was a roar of laughter. Seemingly undisturbed, the ...

... Paul Holt THE centenary of the birth of Robert Louis Stevenson has been rubbed into us all like an embrocation. I am glad it is now over, for I myself never felt sore about the man. He was a splendid writer who knew the trick of his craft, which is to make a story go. But Mr. Priestley condescended to him and then ended up by patting his shroud, and Compton Mackenzie made much of him as a ...

... mwn 66 squeak Compiled by Jay Jay AN old Negro was dressed up to the nines and was strolling proudly along the street. Aren't you working to-day asked an acquaintance. No, suh I I'm celebratin' my golden weddin', replied the Negro. That 's fine, said the other, but why isn't your wife helping you to celebrate My present wife, replied the darkie with dignity, ain't got nothin' to do with it ...

... mm LI 66 squw Compiled by Jay Jay TI/HILE on his beat a policeman came upon a small rf man knocking on a wall with a two-shilling piece. The constable watched for a while and then approached, asking, What are you doing there The man replied As you can see, I am knocking on this wall with a florin. I Oh, said the policeman, and what is your -JL. occupation My job, replied the man, still ...

... B£/B hit 66 SQUMK I lULLO. Tommy, said a neighbour /I to the small boy, and then noticing fc the gap in the front of his mouth, she added How did you lose your tooth Shifting gears on a lollipop, replied the motorist's son. Two men were sitting in the corner of the club-room discussing the recent death of a mutual friend. What did he die of asked the first. The doctor said that it was an ...

... mm squeak Compiled by Jay Jay A MAN was driving past a lake in a park at a time when the park attendants were putting swans, geese and ganders into the water. Interested, he parked his car and sauntered over to the water's edge, joining several other onlookers, k As one of the attendants opened a crate and released some birds, he i. said I say, how do you know which are the geese and which are ...

... WMLl squeak A SAILOR on his way out of the docks approached a policeman and said con fidentially Will it be O.K. if I bring out some tobacco to-morrow I 'II make it all right with you. Right-ho I replied the policeman. But the next day when he saw the sailor he stopped him and had him searched. Thought better of it, eh he chuckled on discovering nothing. Oh, no, answered the sailor, also ...

... wma Mj squeak Compiled by Jay Jay THE nurse established herself in the house and when she left Billy was the not very proud brother of twins. He was not at all pleased about it and felt thoroughly out of the picture. Some time later Billy's parents moved to another district and one day the nurse met the small boy coming home from his new school. Hello, young man, she said, have you come to ...

... WMLl 66 SquMK Compiled by Jay Jay THREE men were sitting on a park seat. The man in the middle was sitting quietly, as though asleep, but the men on either side of him were going through the motions of fishing. With deadly seriousness JL they would cast, jerk their lines gently, then swiftly wind imaginary reels. JL. This had been going on for some time, when a policeman sauntered over, shook ...

... mmis &6 squeak Compiled by Jay Jay A SALESMAN was trying to interest Fortesque, a notoriously mean /i man, in a hearing aid. Oh, I can manage with something much cheaper than that, said the (ntential client. You just wait here a minute and I 'II show you. He vanished for a moment and then reappeared with a tiny wire with X no apparent connection, running from his waistcoat pocket to his ear. ...

... wmli 66 squeak Compiled by Jay Jay K RECENT communique from the French capital tells of how French f\ explorers, forcing a way through dense tropical jungle, came upon a party of cannibals about to hare a feast on a late enemy. The cannibal JL. chief came forward to greet the Frenchmen in perfect French. When X they showed surprise at his command of their language, he explained that he had ...

... MBit 66 SQUiEAK Compiled by Jay Jay THE tramp had been on the go all day and although hating the idea, he agreed to do some work in return for a meal. The farmer led him to a large mound of potatoes. All you have to do, he said, is to put the large potatoes on one side and the little ones on the other. The tramp settled down to the job. Half an hour later he knocked at the farmer's door. I'm ...