... wmli 66 squeak LITTLE, undo, age five, came home one day and announced that she and her friend Peter were going to elope. Really said her mother, in mock seriousness. Do you really think it -fa would be nice to take Peter away from his mother so young 7 Oh, that's all right, replied the young lady. You see, she doesn't understand him. MAKING his first stage appearance in a provincial city, ...

... B UMit 66 SQuSAK AA hoy, said the magnate to his son, t there are two things that are vitally necessary if you are to succeed in business. What are they, father Honesty and sagacity. What is honesty Always no matter what happens or how adversely it may affect you always keep your word once you have given it. And sagacity Never give it. Two women who had not met for some time were talking ...

... 66 squeak THEY were discussing feminine rights at a dinner-table at which sat Yvonne Printemps. All this argument seems useless to me, said her neighbour. What if woman would not rather be beautiful than if j intelligent That 's true, replied Mile. Prin temps. but do you know why Because S most men are dull but very few are j blind. /Ane day an insurance agent was asked to I 1 break the ...

... VUMLl 66 SQU£AK GOING on holiday, an actress tried what she thought was an excellent plan for keeping her diamond necklace safe. She left it on the dressing-table with a note This is only an imitation. The real fa necklace is kept at the bank. -fa But when she returned she found it gone, and in its place this note: This necklace will do, thanks. I 'm only a sub stitute myself. The burglar who ...

... /pttttl MhtBt TO look at Len Hutton you would think him an eighteenth-century nobleman, not a twentieth-century professional cricketer. His face, with that remarkable broken Roman nose, his shoulders and the way his head sits on his neck make you think of ruffles and snuff, Madeira wine and back gammon at dawn. In personality he towered above all his contemporaries at the dinner, given in his ...

... ww&Lt 66 squeak Compiled by Jay Jay I COT my start in life, said the rich man impressively, through I picking up a pin in the street. I was refused employment by a merchant, and on my way out I saw a pin. I X Yes, I know you picked it up the merchant was impressed by your X carefulness, stopped you, and from that moment you never looked back. I 've heard that sort of tale before. No; I saw ...

... B£/B Bit squeak A LITTLE worm was feeling lonely, so lie popped out and looked around for someone to play with: At last he noticed another little worm, and said: Will you come out and play? The other little worm replied Don't be daft. I 'm your other end. IT happened that a Hollywood producer was put into a position whereby he had to give a relative a job in the studio. The relative came ...

... mm 66 sqmbay. A VERY small girl was gifted with so Al yiv/d an imagination that her mother began to be troubled by her fairy-tales and felt it was time to talk seriously to her upon the importance of truthfulness. Not sure of the impression she had made, she -fa closed with a warning that if she did not A tell the truth she would not go to Heaven. The child considered this a moment and then ...

... WW Bit 66 $Q\}£A K THE owner of a new model farm which housed 100 T.T. cows was showing a friend round. Do you see that nice-looking man over there he asked. He often comes here and stays for quite a long time. Let 's see what he 's up to. They walked over and the farmer said -fa I see you around here frequently. Is -fa there anything in particular in which you are interested 1 I do hope you ...

... vmBu 66 SQu&AK LJOPH you 'II have a nice journey, sir, said the hall porter to the departing guest. Verra sorry, laddie, but I 've gi'en a' ma sma' change tae th' chambermaid, fa replied the Scots guest. She told me you didn't give her anything, grumbled the porter. A' wee/, if I didna gie yon bonnie lassie o nything, what sort o' a chance dae ye think ye 've got A little nervous-looking ...

... WWLt 66 Squ^K THE oldest inhabitant of the village had just celebrated yet another birthday, and a local reporter was sent to interview him. And tell me, what would you do if you could have your time over again? There was a long silence, while the old man appeared to be deep in thought. I think I would part my hair in the middle, he replied at last. A prize-fighter and his manager, recently ...

... MB. li 66 squeak Compiled by Jay Jay SIR HENRY IRVING was once a witness in the case of a street robbery. The thief's lawyer roared at the distinguished actor: At what hour did the theft occur y{ I think began Sir Henry. yG The lawyer interrupted. It isn't what you think that we want to know. Well, then, I might as well leave, Sir Henry retorted. I 'm not a lawyer I can't talk without ...