... Singalong was hit and miss affair BY HARRY VENNING With Euro 2000 dominating tine nation's consciousness and dictating our viewing habits for the foreseeable future, schedulers were understandably reluctant to launch their latest prestige drama or groundbreaking comedy only to see it ignored completely or pulverised in tne ratings by an England v Holland final (I can dream, can't I?). As a ...

... Faithful story of a lady who sang the blues By Tara Conlan One thing I nevef understood about As You Like It, no matter how many times my English teacher went through it. If all the world's a stage, then where is backstage and, more importantly who is selling the ice creams and programmes, as I would like a synopsis? For Janis Joplin all the world was a stage. Like many performers, she felt ...

... Soccer gaffes from the archives score highly By HARRY VENNING The schedulers' timid capitulation to the Euro 2000 juggemaut continues apace, with BBC Light Entertainment going as far as to collaborate with the forces of occupation. Auntie's Shocking Soccer Boomers (BBC1, Sunday, June 18, 7pm) was an opportunistic, hastily assembled and intermittently amusing attempt to exploit football's ...

... RATINGS WATCH ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^M*il:MWJJMdJli1MJlWIJ'4.-l Oh dear, it looks like further bad news for poor old Peter Salmon. Only this week some smartypants researcher with a name like an allotment comes up with more lists to show how the BBC1 controller is floundering (excuse the pun) in his struggle to swim with the big boys of ITV. Now the list below doesn't look likely to produce the ...

... Clause for effect was a winner BY HARRY VENNING It has become an increasingly common practice among male TV stars to insist that a 'Stud Clause' be inserted into any contract they are expected to sign. The Stud Clause stipulates that any drama featuring the actor should include an early scene which establishes his character to be a sexually potent heterosexual. Most Stud Clauses also carry ...

... On his own, Burnside turns into Monkfish The problem with Burnside (ITV, Thursday, July 6, 9pm) is Burnside himself. By far the most charismatic character at The Bills Sun Hill Police Station, Burnside enlivened every episode he appeared in with his cheery growl, dubious techniques and no-nonsense attitude. Convincingly portrayed by Christopher Ellison, Bumside was the heir to the tradition ...

... Profile fails to tackle hard man By Harry Venning Aspirant movie stars among The Stage's readership (97 per cent of you) would have done well to watch Vrnnfe Goes to Holywood (BBC1, Wednesday. July 12, 9.30pm), an inspirational example of minimum abilities exploited to their maximum potential. The Vmnie in question is, of course, the nation's favourite hard man, Vinnie Jones. His epic ...

... Addicted to celeb excess stories BY HARRY VENNING What with all the natural disasters, wars, plagues and famines forever grabbing the headlines, the sad plight of the rich and famous is often overlooked. So let us raise a cup, cut a line, or put a monkey on an accumulator in celebration of Celebrity Rehab (C4. Wednesday, July 26, 8.30pm), a dishonest, salacious, trite and wickedly enjoyable ...

... BY BEN DOWELL FOR WEEK ENDING JULY 16 Television is fairly remarkable for the way it can genuinely create the most 'talked about' programmes which not many people actually, er, watch. The list is endless. This Life, Naked Jungle, The Word and now we have Lock Stock, Big Brother and News from Number 10 the expose of spinmeister Ally Campbell. Michael Cockerell's documentary does not even make ...

... Far out of her range BY HARRY VENNING Enough is enough. I think it is time stand-up comedians went back to stand-up comedy and left acting for actors. For goodness sake, how adored do you people have to be before you stop stealing other people's jobs? Rhona (BBC2, Tuesday, July 25, 9.50pm) concerns a trio of thirtysomething best mates who have absolutely nothing to do with their spare time ...

... New Big Brotherly love By TARA CONLAN Columnists everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief, myself included. The subjects available to fill up the acres of print that summer affords seemed to be fairly scant, consisting mostly of the Queen Mother's birthday, Pre-Olympics hype and the usual what to do when the kids are on holiday gripes. But a white knight has emerged in the form of Big ...

... Good clubbing tonight BY HARRY VENNING Drugs, swearing, sex in toilets, under-age gay sex, violence and loud music with a repetitive beat. Tinsel Town (BBC2, Monday, August 7, 11.20pm) has the lot, satisfying all the requirements needed to join that burgeoning genre, The Club Scene Drama. What it.. does not have is a decent timeslot. Late on a Monday night is about as far from primetime as you ...