... Punchy portrayal of security's brawl game By HARRY VENNING There are few sights more thrilling than a punch-up watched from a safe distance, and it is surely the expectation of some serious fisticuffs that makes Muscle (BBC1, Saturday, February 5, 10pm) so alluring. Bristokiased Security Leisure supplies bouncers to pubs and clubs in the wild south west, and the programme follows the nocturnal ...

... On his own, Burnside turns into Monkfish The problem with Burnside (ITV, Thursday, July 6, 9pm) is Burnside himself. By far the most charismatic character at The Bills Sun Hill Police Station, Burnside enlivened every episode he appeared in with his cheery growl, dubious techniques and no-nonsense attitude. Convincingly portrayed by Christopher Ellison, Bumside was the heir to the tradition ...

... This cod lacked conviction BY HARRY VENNING Everyone needs a role model when growing up, and mine was Raymond Chandler's fictional detective Philip Marlowe. Although living with my parents in suburban Rayners Lane and attending a boys grammar school provided little opportunity for rescuing dames, trading punches with hoodlums and wisecracking in the face of piano wire tension, I nevertheless ...

... Scottish saga short of any real surprises By Tara Conlan According to a survey published this week, the words: According to a survey published this week' are more than 90 per cent likely to be used to begin the average lazy newspaper journalist's column. I do not usually like to scrape the proverbial barrel and rely on surveys to kick off my pink (purple is so last season) prose. But this ...

... Lead us into this temptation BY HARRY VENNING The Sins (BBC1, Tuesday, October 24, 9.10pm) stars Pete Postlethwaite as Len Green, a former getaway driver and underworld 'face' who, on release from prison, resolves to go straight. But although: The path of the just is as the shining ngnt, that shmeth more ana more unto the perfect day (Proverbs 4:18), it can be an arduous one, beset by ...

... Manning's hero status is a joke BY JOHN BYRNE It is always a momentous occasion when an enigmatic, cantankerous but fascinating TV character shuffles off this mortal coil. Well, okay Bernard Manning is still with us, but there is something about the Heroes of Comedy series of which he was the latest subject (C4, Saturday, November 11, 10.35pm) which suggests the kind of career retrospective ...

... BY HARRY VENNING For reasons far too complicated to go into, One Foot in the Grave (BBC1, Monday. October 16, 9pm) featured a scene in wtiich victor Meldrew entered a cubicle in the gents toilet only to find himself descending into an underground brothel populated by scantily-dressed and topless prostitutes. It was the latest in a very long line of inspired moments the show has produced ...

... Trailers spoil tale of virtue BY HARRY VENNING You really are quite unnecessarily pretty, snipes a female colleague of primary school teacher Jenny Bunn, heroine of Take a Girl Like You (BBC1, Sunday, November 26, 9.05pm). But then Jenny (Sienna Guillory) seems to provoke a strong response ever she goes, particularly among men. No sooner has she arrived in London off the Up North Express, ...

... Addicted to celeb excess stories BY HARRY VENNING What with all the natural disasters, wars, plagues and famines forever grabbing the headlines, the sad plight of the rich and famous is often overlooked. So let us raise a cup, cut a line, or put a monkey on an accumulator in celebration of Celebrity Rehab (C4. Wednesday, July 26, 8.30pm), a dishonest, salacious, trite and wickedly enjoyable ...

... RATINGS WATCH By BEN DOWELL FOR WEEK ENDING SEPTEMBER 17 Big Brother. My God doth not the sound make the blood curdle? A staging post for Internet television, say the black polo- necks from Channel 4, jubilant about their own bravery as well as the Big Brother effect. What the latter means, of course, is that Daily Telegraph readers who have a sticking plaster over the number four ...

... Fond memories of a twinkling-eyed Paula I think one of the finest tributes I've yet heard about Paula Yates came not after her death but in a one-to- one chat with comedy writer Dominic English last June. English, if you remem ber The Stage profile at the time, revealed that when he was working on Channel 4's The Big Breakfast he was employed to make sure that Yates read her briefs for the ...

... Real-life lottery that stretched our belief BY TARA CONLAND If Noel Coward had been alive today, chances are he would be singing: Don't put your daughter in a docu-soap Mrs Worth ington. For some, fly-on-the-walls lead to success and their own series, but most emerge in a less favourable light than that cast in McDonald's loos. So I did not hold out much hope when I saw producer Andre ...