... Punchy portrayal of security's brawl game By HARRY VENNING There are few sights more thrilling than a punch-up watched from a safe distance, and it is surely the expectation of some serious fisticuffs that makes Muscle (BBC1, Saturday, February 5, 10pm) so alluring. Bristokiased Security Leisure supplies bouncers to pubs and clubs in the wild south west, and the programme follows the nocturnal ...

... Manning's hero status is a joke BY JOHN BYRNE It is always a momentous occasion when an enigmatic, cantankerous but fascinating TV character shuffles off this mortal coil. Well, okay Bernard Manning is still with us, but there is something about the Heroes of Comedy series of which he was the latest subject (C4, Saturday, November 11, 10.35pm) which suggests the kind of career retrospective ...

... Colourful characters keep the fun moving This week we focus on the small-screen world of children's programmes BY KAT WOOOTTON While my cronies and I have reached the age at which we get nostalgic about children's television in the seventies, my kids are currently having their future TV reminiscences imprinted upon them. In 20 years time, they will get all misty-eyed at the mention of ...

... On his own, Burnside turns into Monkfish The problem with Burnside (ITV, Thursday, July 6, 9pm) is Burnside himself. By far the most charismatic character at The Bills Sun Hill Police Station, Burnside enlivened every episode he appeared in with his cheery growl, dubious techniques and no-nonsense attitude. Convincingly portrayed by Christopher Ellison, Bumside was the heir to the tradition ...

... Addicted to celeb excess stories BY HARRY VENNING What with all the natural disasters, wars, plagues and famines forever grabbing the headlines, the sad plight of the rich and famous is often overlooked. So let us raise a cup, cut a line, or put a monkey on an accumulator in celebration of Celebrity Rehab (C4. Wednesday, July 26, 8.30pm), a dishonest, salacious, trite and wickedly enjoyable ...

... These uprooted vegs lacked comedic bite By HARRY VENNING All credit to Sky TV, when I it decides to do something it doesn't do it by halves. Its first foray into sitcom production boasts big names (Jack Docherty and Mark Williams as stars, Rob Grant as writer), big budget, big advertising campaign and big special effects. Even the first episode was big, at just under an hour long. All that ...

... Far out of her range BY HARRY VENNING Enough is enough. I think it is time stand-up comedians went back to stand-up comedy and left acting for actors. For goodness sake, how adored do you people have to be before you stop stealing other people's jobs? Rhona (BBC2, Tuesday, July 25, 9.50pm) concerns a trio of thirtysomething best mates who have absolutely nothing to do with their spare time ...

... RATINGS WATCH BY BEN DOWELL FOR WEEK ENDING SEPTEMPER 24 This was the week of the great BBC1 triumph, when it rose, Salmon-like (shurely Phoenix-like? ed) from the flames to greet a new dawn or perhaps not. Well, it certainly did nicely with the debut of the American-style team-written sitcom Bless This House, sorry, My Family, starring Zoe Wanamaker and Robert Lindsay. Casualty stormed up ...

... Compelling portrayal of a personal crusade By Harry Venning This is Personal - The Hunt for the Yorkshire Ripper (ITV, Wednesday. January 26, 9pm) was a two-part dramatisation of the police manhunt for the Yorkshire Ripper. Despite an abundance of evidence, leads and eyewitness descriptions, the investigation dragged on for years without an arrest being made and the killer continued to attack ...

... Eurovision of loveliness when compared to BAFTA ceremony BY HARRY VENNING Just how many people were watching The Eurovision Song Contest 2000 (BBC1, Saturday, May 13, 8pm) was the subject of some debate on Saturday evening. Terry Wogan informed us that there were 300 million people currently glued to their screens, only to be contradicted almost immediately by host Kattis Ahlstrom, who put ...

... Tragic portrait of the eternal boy BY BEN DOWELL Two retrospectives this week: one of the very deceased pianist/gay icon Liberace, the other of still alive pain in the arts/gay icon Liz Taylor. And while Taylor was able to ham it all up behind refulgent light as she glossed over her life in this week's tawdry piece of sycophancy, poor Lee (or was that Lieb?), as he was known to his friends, ...

... Profile fails to tackle hard man By Harry Venning Aspirant movie stars among The Stage's readership (97 per cent of you) would have done well to watch Vrnnfe Goes to Holywood (BBC1, Wednesday. July 12, 9.30pm), an inspirational example of minimum abilities exploited to their maximum potential. The Vmnie in question is, of course, the nation's favourite hard man, Vinnie Jones. His epic ...