... Uncomfortable portrait of isolated lives inside By Harry Venning My friend Geoff, who earns more money than is decent, recently cried off Sunday morning football, blaming a previous engagement. When questioned, he sheepishly admitted that he was going to attend the Lotus Drivers' Annual Rally and Picnic instead. A Lotus drivers convention is, I am sure you will agree, a vision of hell worthy ...

... Frightening vision of pop's monstrosities BY HARRY VENNING Until his dying day, my father could not bring himself to forgive Teddy Johnson for introducing a whistling interlude into Sing Little Birdie, the legendary duet with Pearl Carr which represented the UK at the 1958 Eurovision Song Contest. Based on no evidence at all, father maintained that we were coasting to victory up until the ...

... Holy Grail canned with laughter By HARRY VENNING My Family (BBC1, Tuesday, September 19, 8.30pm) is the latest in a long line of attempts to produce that most elusive Holy Grail of light entertainment, the decent sitcom. Having been regularly pounded over the head with the brilliance of US imports the BBC invited Fred Barron producer of Seinfeld and Larry Sanders to apply some of his sassy ...

... Nasty Nick's sound reasoning The final piece of the Nasty Nick Bateman puzzle has finally been put in place. At a Royal Television Society discussion work shop on the programme held at the Groucho Club recently, co-contestant Andy Davidson from the house preferred a convincing explanation of quite why Nick felt he could be so Machiavellian and get away with it. We had a big argument about the ...

... Plunging to murkier depths In between pooh-poohing his former Only Fools and Horses co-star David Jason's programmes in which he goes diving in exotic loca tions, Nicholas Lyndhurst (who claims to be more serious about the sport) is genially mocking. He's a wuss he only likes warm, clear water, laughs Lyndhurst before adding: Me? I'm what's known as a Bovril diver, the murkier the better. ...

... BY BEN DOWELL FOR WEEK ENDING JULY 16 Television is fairly remarkable for the way it can genuinely create the most 'talked about' programmes which not many people actually, er, watch. The list is endless. This Life, Naked Jungle, The Word and now we have Lock Stock, Big Brother and News from Number 10 the expose of spinmeister Ally Campbell. Michael Cockerell's documentary does not even make ...

... Vic's posh chat rules OK BY HARRY VENNING I came to mock and stayed to cheer. Top programme of the week was undoubtedly Victoria's Secrets (C4, Tuesday. January 11, 10pm), a one-off special which saw Posh Spice attempting a bit of work experience as a celebrity interviewer. I am not quite sure what Victoria Adams' day job is any more, but she should most definitely not give it up. As an ...

... RATINGS WATCH BY BEN DOWELL FOR WEEK ENDING JANUARY 9 By the time this particular platter was offered to viewers, things had settled down in tellyland. The mistletoe was down, media editors had drained their millionth glass of free plonk at the 94th party and weary executives were forced to heave their 4x4 guts behind their desks. AH we have now is Gormenghastly, and the question is: Why ...

... This film noir thriller makes arresting viewing By HARRY VENNING I had absolutely no problem with Helen Mirren in Prime Suspect. Likewise Anna Carteret in Juliet Bravo and Jill Gascoigne in The Gentle Touch. But I am afraid credibility was stretched beyond breaking point by the casting of Emma Cunniffe as a detective constable in Blue Murder (ITV, Wednesday. February 23, 9pm). She has got ...

... BY TARA CONLAN Having spent the last week in Austria, where the only television stations available were CNN and the German language Orf 1 and Orf 2, I was gasping for the TV remote when I returned to the UK. As my German does not I go very far and most of Orf 1 seems to consist of reruns of I a version of Hercules in which the hero wins his battles using a giant frankfurter, I spent most of my ...

... Brits take prize for total self-absorption By Ben Dowell Everyone who's anyone is here tonight, bellowed Davina McCall, hostess of The Brit Awards 2000 (ITV, Saturday, March 4, 8.55pm). She may as well have added: And that ain't you, pal--you're at home watching it on telly If only the next shot had not been of Dale Winton, we may have believed her. If only she had not said in the next ...

... Warming to Cold Feet clones By Tara Conlan At the rate high street banks are closing their branches, will kids be turning to their mothers in ten years time saying: Mummy, why are bank holidays called bank holidays? My Internet and phone banking account is always open. Perhaps they will be renamed j Call Centre Holidays in order to make them more relevant to the youth of 2010. Of course, we ...