... Biddy I'm not a fellow who gets on with girls Never had no sort of luck I loved alone Biddy Malone, Then Biddy gave me the chuck I One day she said to me, What would you do If I should now expire I said, If that would Happen, the fat would Certainly be in the fire Refrain Biddy said, Oh Biddy said, Go I Biddy kicked up a row So I've no gal To be a pal No-Biddy loves me now All musical rights ...

... OtoHiHSaJBi $y A. A-HFiomioj^o TNEAR Mr. Sun, we have heard of you, Hiding away in the endless blue You live, we are told, some miles away Ninety million or so, they say. For a chap like you, that isn't far You could get a lift in Phoebus' car. a' We're writing to ask without a fuss), Iffok Wouldn't you like to call on us You've heard of England Or have you not A pleasant and tidy and friendly ...

... r j you had left me time enough to think j I would have written poems to you i Not palpably untrue, j Not heavy-laboured pages of dried ink j Describing you. I'd say that I have found the missing link j Belonging to my chain j Of incomplete sensations, I That I've not hesitated on the brink Of killing hope, in vain. j Much has been born of barren meditations Instead, you have involved my ...

... I SECONDS our One hopes that the recent display of fisticuffs f in the South African Parliament will not be I imitated in the Mother of Parliaments A Sunday newspaper {Sunday Dispatch). J^/JERE verbal scrapping in the House f May please the man who's not the nous To tap the claret of M. P. s With whom he strongly disagrees, But wordy warfare seems to be j Both slow and dull to a degree, And ...

... in O , who are so warm and white, With eyes unnaturally bright, Why do you gape with vacant stare Upon the grassy meadows where You spend your days Your stilted walk, I do not doubt, Denotes a mild attack of gout, But that's no reason, I presume, I For your habitual look of gloom And sombre gaze. Good , come, tell me of your life j Perchance you have a nagging wife j Do acrimonious politics, ...

... A^/i/ohL A. ATHOMSOK-A lhpfc_ Some sing of bold Abe Mitchell, Of Braid and Vardon rare These are the great names which '11 Win plaudits everywhere. But were I skilled as Herd, whose drive Flies swift as maxim gun, I fear I'd still land in the rough, For, oh, I am not skilled enough To do a hole in one. If I were strong as Sandow Or hard as Hackenschmidt I hope you understand how I work these ...

... Sweetest lady, far be it from me to attempt To belittle your pet recreation You are so high above me that you are exempt For my slightest advice or dictation. But I'm bound to explain that I can't understand, Your mania for going to first nights, Which, so far as regards both the players and band. Are the worst of our plays' very worst nights. Please excuse me inclining to think you are mad ...

... ROMEO (Carson) Call me but love and I'll be new baptsed Henceforth I never will be Romeo. My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, Because it is an enemy to thee. JULIET (Redmond) I have no joy of this contract to-night It is too rash, too unadvis'd, too sudden Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be, Ere one can say, It lightens. Sweet, good night This bud of love, by summer's ...

... The sea, the wicket, and the -The mud, the dud, the The little dinner, t6te=i-tete, The trench, the flies, t The lawn, the river, and the And oh the years thi the car, the V6ry Star tete, ies, the Hymn of Hate the green-- s that lie between I T ...

... There is nothing so glorious as a thunderstorm after fine weather, except fine weather after a thunderstorm.- From a Leader in the Times.) Attend, all ye who have not heard That 'tis in execrable form To utter an unkindly word With reference to a thunderstorm This were, according to the Times, The very worst of social crimes. When black clouds on the heavens sit, And make an awesome crashing ...

... Pan in London' yIs I walk the sunny streets In the summer season, Passers-by Start and sigh, Half- aware, beyond their reason Pan is here in London. In the Parks, all trimly set, IV ait the rows of flowers All rejoice As my voice Wakes the glades in sparkling showers Pan is here in London. In the squares the Dryads pause Where the fauns are sleeping, In the grass Till I pass, When they murmur, ...

... [In Buda Pesth a school has been started to give instruction in the art of eating and behaving at meals.) My gentle child, from day to day, Remember that your table-knife Should not be used in such a way As to endanger human life To use it as an argument Is contrary to precedent. The fork, again, is not a thing With which to play amusing tricks Such fun is viewed with shuddering By those who ...