... . Listen, maids and matrons, to a piteous tale of woe Produce your dainty kerchiefs, for your tears are bound to How. I 'm a bachelor of thirty-five, and a millionaire beside, But for some unhappy reason I 'vc never found a bride. I don't think that I '111 bad-looking, and I know my heart is kind But the sort of girl I want to wed is the sort I never find. The pretty girls are plenty and the ...

... . When Earth was virgin of the sun, Ere Spring her maiden course had run, While April's golden webs were spun On loom of daffodillies When primrose beds were faintly sweet, And cool, bird-haunted groves were meet For lovers, treading under feet Dew-laden valley-lilies When odorous air hung incense-wise Between the meadows and the skies, And Cain's accepted sacrifice Dropp'd balm on lawn and ...

... . BY CLEMENT SCOTT. Ring out the bells for the bonny X cw Year, Fill up a bumper and cirele the glass, Lift all your voices and volley a cheer, Lads who have life and true love for a lass. Men, who are merciful, women set free, Out from, your hearts this libation outpour, May the successes of Ninety -and-Tliree All he redoubled in 'Ninety-and-Four If there, be jealousies, bury them deep ...

... LOVE A LA RON SARD. (1585.) If thou wouldst learn how Love, my ruthless foe, Assails me and subdues me to his will, Inflames my heart, then smites with bitter chill, And gains new glory from my deeper woe If thou wouldst read how all my days are spent In vain pursuit of that which is but vain, Come near and mark my thousand scars of pain, Which God and she assign for punishment. So- may'st ...

... B E II I N D II E 11 F A N. Behind her fan, all painted o'er With shepherds' maids and Loves galore. Her chin was lost her laces 'mid, While I, scarce knowing what I (lid, Glanced now at her, then at the floor. I felt that I could kneel before Even the very flowers she wore. Or but the glove of softest kid, Behind her fan. I longed, at once, to seek the door, And to remain and venture more, I ...

... THE LADIES' DINNER. Six or seven male journalists having expressed their readiness to act as waiters at the too exclusive literary ladies' dinner, described in another column, one of the exclusives sends us the folio wins o The Muses to the Would-be Waiters. Presumptuous Seven, would ye propose Around about our board to close Where wisdom caters, Our flow of soid to overhear, And at our ...

... THE POETS IX BOOKLANI).-- V. The properly of a Gentleman who has given up l oUrc/iiiy.) Oh, blessed he the cart that takes Away my books, my curse, my clog, Blessed the auctioneer who makes Their inefficient catalogue Blessed the purchasers who pay However little less were fit Blessed the rooms, the rainy day, The knock-out and the end of it. For I am weary of the sport That seemed a while ...

... . Found in the Cambridge Backs during Mag Week.) Fair and most learned Chloe, If what they say is true, Since you went up to Girton You've become intensely blue. I bear you talk of Homer As of a cherished friend You're intimate with Pindar, And ancients without end. Greek verse you vote mere bagatelle, Your prose is quite sublime Y our Latin verse immaculate, You oft construe in rhyme. ...

... YOUR RURSE OR YOUR LIFE-- UP TO DATE. I offer the lives of two soldiers, one sailor-soldier, and one modem officer, says Meuie Muriel Dowie A Ciirl in the Karpatliians in her preface to the volume of Women Adventurers. I regret deeply not to offer an example of a female pirate as well. There have been several female pirates. Piracy, as a trade, should be peculiarly suited to a woman it gave ...

... T II E VICTORIA. Four score fathoms of water Six hundred souls aboard A rent in her starboard quarter Stretch forth Thine arm, O Lord, From Carmel, where Thou dwellest Now, as in olden time, And 'neath Thy footstool tellest The fleets of every clime, Since Sidon's sails, low bending, Bore forth their bales afar, Till in the soft sun-wending Move England's ships of war Now parting, as though ...

... . On board the Cephalonia, April 26, 1886. Mr. Thomas Baily Aldrich, the well-known American writer, sends us the following amended form of some verses which he recently contributed to Harper's Magazine O Wind and Wave, be kind to him So, Wave and Wind, we give thee thanks O Fog, that from Newfoundland banks Makest the blue, bright ocean dim, Delay him not And ye who snare The wayworn shipman ...

... . What is it in these latter days Transfigures my domestic ways, And round me as a halo plays?-- My cigarette. For me so daintily prepared, No modern skill or perfume spared, What would have happened had I dared To pass it yet What else could lighten times of woe, When someone says I told you so, When all the servants in a row Give notices When the great family affairs Demand the most ...